Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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