Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
