There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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