its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
