She is in my trunk
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
