I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
