Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
