I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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