On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Congratulations! We have a period
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