I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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