rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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