It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We need to get me chipped asap
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