you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
