stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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