I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
