i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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