a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
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It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
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Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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