just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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