and you said cock pushups were impossible
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
