I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize