Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
