You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
