She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
