We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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