I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
