I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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