If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
