I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
