First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
