Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I intend to get homeless drunk
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
