Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
