My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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