a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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