she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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