Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
