at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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