with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
