I cockslap morals
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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