the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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