you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
