Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Randomize
