too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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