At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
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