I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
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