dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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