We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I love you. Go after that dick
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
