clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
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we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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