ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
