my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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