i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
home. puking in laundry basket.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
