can u get pink eye on your cock?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
