We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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