And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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