Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
