So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
