I wannas sexs uuuuu
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
