I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
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I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
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It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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