Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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