The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
