is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
