Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
