It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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