Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
