I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
