I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
