Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
