For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
