p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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