oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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