they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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