You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
