her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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