He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize