Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No subtext here. People are naked.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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