I'm going to jail i love you
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
