You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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